Divorce: Who's Affected? By Rebecca Chaplin

            Divorce has become more prominent in todays society. For whatever reasons, parents have with one another it splits up the family. It could negatively impact the other half of the family. Because according to, Gender, Marriage, Parenthood, and Wealth, “Parenthood leaves mothers poorer than fathers” (Yamokoski & Keister, 2005). Because the mother is often the one who has custody of children and either does not work or works very little. With most often fathers usually being the breadwinners in the family and make more money than women do. But there may not always be a negative impact when parents get divorced. Sometimes you see it remain consistent not affecting them financially but in other ways.

But there is an aspect that most people when thinking about divorce forget about, the kid’s aspect and how the divorce of their parents impacts them. “Stress trickles down to children from mothers either in a way mother reacts with the child or when child can observe the mothers stress,” (Adams, 2014). Or they stereotypically assume that since the kid’s parents got divorced those children are worse off with out knowing all the facts. But then they start to assume the worst of that kid or kids because they now come from a broken home like it was their fault their parents got divorced. Or that it was their responsibility to keep them together.

            I came from a divorced family. My parents got divorced when I was five and my sisters were six and nine. Now we might have been a little too young to know what was going on between our parents, but we knew they were not getting along. I do not exactly recall anything from that time except for one memory. It must have been a weekend because it was mid-day and my dad was home because he worked during the weeks. My mom did not work at this time. But my parents were arguing and yelling at one another. My sisters and I ran out into the yard to get away from them. All I can remember thinking was I needed to get out of there and go somewhere safe. For me to be five and not want to be around my parents is a sad thought because those are the people that are suppose to keep you safe. Thankfully it did not have an ever lasting effect on my or my sisters but the is not always the case.

            Many people get divorced and they might be happy and doing better with the outcome, but they do not always think about how it could affect their child/children. But not only that but sometimes all the lifestyle changes that people have to go through if they do not have such a high income to support themselves and their kids. Divorce is not limited to just low social economic status families. Higher income families you see divorce as well, maybe just as often or more.

            With the stereotype effects of divorce angled towards those of low-income families it seems that high-income families keep their thoughts under the rug. You do not hear much negativity about high-income families wrongs. According to Divorce Hits Children in Higher-Income Families the Hardest, Study Says, “aside from rich ones, it seems the kids are alright” (Adams 2014). The key word being seems. Also saying that kids from higher incomes fair worse than those from low income families is basically saying that kids from low income families do not have much to lose, which I think they have just as much to lose as someone from a higher social class. They might have had more money living with two parents and a child from a low-income family could say that same, but also they are both losing that opportunity to grow up in a two-parent household. So by saying that someone might think that lower income families that get divorced have nothing to lose and would be reading into it and thinking from a different perspective.

            I feel that what is being said about high income families apply to all families from low to high income. They experience similar to same experiences. For example, “switching to new schools or a new neighborhood can cause more anxiety over decline in financial resources,” (Adams, 2014). This statement made by Rebecca Ryan says, assistant professor in department of psychology at Georgetown University, is as if she is singling out the higher income families because this is more of a big deal for them when it applies to all families that are dealing with divorced from low income to high. When my parents split up we had to move in with my grandparents causing my sisters and I to change schools. I think it is stressful on all social classes dealing with divorce having to move and basically start over. It is scary.

Divorce is a prominent affect to children from every social class. No child is singled out based on social class. Some children may hide how they have been impacted by the event because they know that their parent or parents are struggling. Or the child feels that it is not a big deal to have their parents worrying about how they feel until it becomes prominent in their day-to-day activities during and out of school. “New research…suggests that parental separation or divorce only significantly impacts behavior of children in high-income families…” (Adams, 2014). That may be true but I think given any background a child is likely to experience different things. Someone cannot just say that because you are from a high-income family that you are the only one that is going to experience behavioral issues. They could insist on saying it is more common rather than only. Depending on your relationship with your father or mother before the separation or divorce I think can have an impact on a child’s reaction and behavior for the worse. But it is not just limited to children from a high income.

There are so many things that I disagreed with when reading this research because coming from a divorced family I have felt some of the side effects growing up with only one consistent parent. I may not know how the other side feels like and I could make assumptions like any other person, but would I be correct, probably not. There are so many things that people might think that there is cool about having divorced parents some things for example, like having two homes or two bedrooms, getting two birthdays which might end with them getting more presents, and then another big one being two Christmases. But it is actually more complicated than that, or at least it was for me.

Even though there is a huge impact on children, that sometimes people tend to overlook when it comes to divorce, mothers are also in large affected by the separation and divorce from a spouse. With men and women unequal in the workforce they are already at a disadvantage when getting a divorce. So if they are working already or trying to reenter the work force there is no way that they can compete with the higher salaries that men earn. With divorce being higher in today’s society there are more women in the workforce than their used to be because they have to be in order to support themselves as well as the children. “Divorce has a negative impact on the household income in both male and female,” (Hale, Neidermeyer, Pearson, & Riley, 2008). This may be true to dividing up items and breaking from one income to two but from what studies show, what most people assume, and what I mentioned above about inequality me fair out better than women. It is just how it appears to be. This could most likely be because they make more and are not constantly providing for their children other than child support. They do not have to worry about feeding them everyday and providing all the essentials a child needs except for when they visit their dad on the weekend. Unless the arrangements to see their dad is different and they see their dad during the week or every other week, if capable, then things would be different. But I guess it just depends on situation and parents. But all in all it still pans out that men are better off than women when separated based on financial status because of how things are in this society whether it is fair or not.

When people get divorced income changes and all in all affects everyone. That change initially puts stress on the entire family and impacts children of divorce among other things. It cannot just be labeled as high-income families struggle the most because that would not be accurate. Every family that gets divorce has their own struggles whether they announce them or not. Because divorce happens within each social class we need to look at the affects it has on social classes across the board.

Adams, R. (2014, September 15). Divorce Hits Children In Higher-Income Families The    Hardest, Study Says. Retrieved               November 16, 2014.

Hale, K. D., Neidermeyer, A. A., Pearson, T. A., & Riley, J. A. (2008). Understanding the Factors Influencing the Income Gap       Between Divorcees. Journal Of Financial Planning, 21(12), 62-70.

Yamokoski, A., & Keister, L. A. (2005). Gender, Marriage, Parenthood and Wealth: The Assets of    Single Females in the United   States. Conference Papers -- American Sociological Association, 1-30